Hercules Review
Starring: Tate Donovan, Danny DeVito, James Woods
Director: Ron Clements, John Musker
Year: 1997
And so, Disney takes on Greek Mythology. And this topic I actually am interested in, as from medias like the Percy Jackson books, and God of War, and a couple others. And Hercules is based from the Greek Hercules, and it’s a little bit different. Hercules the son of Zeus and Hera was abducted from his place on Mount Olympus and made mortal by Hades’s minions. But due to not drinking the last drop, he still possesses super strength. And growing up he clumsily destroys shit, and is looked at like a freak. And so his adoptive parents tell him the truth, sending him on his way to Zeus, who tells him to become a god on Mount Olympus, he must show he is a true hero. And along the way he must stop Hades who is making a giant plan to destroy the world, and meets character like Phil who trains him, and Meg, the love interest. Let’s start with how this movie takes the Greek mythology level. Overall, I kind of am mixed on this one. On one hand they had several references and parts only people who knew Greek mythology would understand. The other, it feels like a dumbed down version to help fit the Disney aspect. Guess who’s the bad guy, yep Hades, even though Hades isn’t even bad in Greek mythology. That’s because he resembles the Christianity version of the Devil, so yeah, bad guy. Way to go Christians. I mean, couldn’t the story have been better if they took the actual side of Hercules, and all the gods were dicks, which would be more true to the source material than making Zeus the big dumb idiot, the other gods comedic relief, and making the Titans just really big monsters. I just kind of want to see a version where the gods are dicks, and the story isn’t holding so many hands. Anyway, that parts all right. Next the characters. This again, a mixed bag. Hercules, he’s not very groundbreaking (I mean figuratively, not literally, literally he breaks plenty of grounds) He goes from insecure teenager with a dream, to the big likeable idiot, to the guy stepping up to the plate becoming the ultimate hero. He’s not really the best character, but he gets the job done. Phil, I do like him. I’m glad the side character isn’t the dumb comedic relief, and he can go from hitting on chicks to picking a fight with Hercules. Meg, I think she’s my favorite character. I’m glad the love interest was actually fun to watch, and that she develops more than any other character. And to be honest her relationship was a lot better than movies like Aladdin or The Little Mermaid. And as far as characters go, she’s better than Jasmine or Ariel, and I like she isn’t an eye batting idiot. Then there is Hades, who is one of my favorite Disney villains. James Woods playing Hades… I heard once that with voice acting you have to be more fitting casting than traditional acting so… maybe James Woods is a fitting devil persona. But Hades was just fun to watch, and ultimately it’s his attitude I like. His lawyer smile, that’s the icing on the cake. As for the rest of the characters, forget all of them. They aren’t important. Paine Panic, forget them. Pegasus, forget him. All of the gods, forget them. I know all these side characters are the most minor of side characters, but god they have nothing. Not even a good line or too. And Zeus is a bigger idiot than Hercules. Ultimately the characters are good enough to pass for a Disney movie, Meg and Phil are definitely my favorites, the others eh. It’s still getting the character badge, so there. The story, it’s simple. It’s the easy save the girl save the world, and throw the bad guy in a big pool of death while you’re at it. But it’s not meant to be a big giant diverse story, sometimes less is more, and epic can be simple. This is kind of like that. And since it’s Disney, how are those songs? To be honest, this was kind of annoying to me. The big thing are the Muses, and they are basically narrating the story, sort of. It doesn’t end with them or anything, they are just kind of guiding the movie if anything. I don’t like them… except the fat one, she’s awesome. They just seem so in your face at times, and they are more exaggerated than need be for Greek Mythology. Not one of their songs I really liked, and besides that there is only Hercules’s Go the Distance (which is a good one) and Meg’s song, which I didn’t really like either. In fact I remember being a child and while in the middle of watching this a woman turned my movie off while that song was playing she was so annoyed by it. She was a bitch for doing it, but still. And for those wondering, yeah this is one of the Disney movies I grew up with. But unlike Tarzan, when I came back to this one, I didn’t like it as much. With Tarzan even if the characters and story and blah blah blah aren’t all that good, it’s a damn fun movie with some really great scenes. It may sound like I broke down this movie a little too much, but it’s just not that great of a viewing experience. The problems show, but is it bad? Hell no, this is a very high seven, which is always good in my books. But it lacks a little heart, and feels so put together for the sake of it.
Hercules gets a 3/5
Spoilers: So, in the end Hercules says fuck living the immortality life, the woman I met roughly three times is a much better lifestyle. Well, at least they didn’t get married. But my boy Phil got it with Aphrodite, yeah, just saying that’s probably the best and dude can do. Also, that part where the guy points to the stars where Hercules is shown and says "that’s Phil’s boy,” yeah, that was really touching, by far the most touching point in the movie.
Badges
Hercules THE CHARACTER BADGE
