A Series of Unfortunate Events Review

#1: The Bad Beginning (3/5)

#2: The Reptile Room (3/5)

#3: The Wide Window (3/5)

#4: The Miserable Mill (3/5)

#5: The Austere Academy (3/5)

#6: The Ersatz Elevator (4/5)

#7: The Vile Village (4/5)

#8: The Hostile Hospital (4/5)

#9: The Carnivorous Carnival (4/5)

#10: The Slippery Slope (4/5)

#11: The Grim Grotto (4/5)

#12: The Penultimate Peril (4/5)

#13: The End (5/5)

From Favorite to Least Favorite

1. The End

2. The Penultimate Peril

3. The Grim Grotto

4. The Carnivorous Carnival

5. The Slippery Slope

6. The Hostile Hospital

7. The Vile Village

8. The Ersatz Elevator

9. The Austere Academy

10. The Wide Window

11. The Miserable Mill

12. The Reptile Room

13. The Bad Beginning

Dear Reader,

If you clicked onto this review hoping you would hear an explanation of how well a charming book series can be, I will tell your right now you are in the wrong place. This series is full of unfortunate and unpleasant events, from the beginning of the bad beginning to the end of the end, there are misfortunes just about every page of this woeful tale. So I could provide thirteen reviews, I read these unpleasant books, but save yourself the trouble of random bursts of tears and avoid these at all costs. Unless you enjoy such treacherous things as a marvelous marriage, Incredibly Deadly Vipers, a lake of deadly leeches, an accident at a mill, a terrible violin player, many many stairs, a set of ridiculous hats, a surgery, a pit of lions, a survivor of a fire, terrible mushrooms, triplets, and a series of unfortunate events. It was my sad duty to review these books, but perhaps you should do something more cheerful, like picking flowers, or singing songs, or eating nails, as those all are much more delightful things to be doing.

With all due respect,

"Creativity,”

"Creativity”

Sorry, I couldn’t resist that for an intro. But yes the series of unfortunate events is a children’s book series by Lemony Snicket (pen name) But "Lemony Snicket,” also happens to be a character in the book, and he is supposedly forced to write the terrible tragedies of the Baudelaire orphans, and he seems to not want anyone to read these books. The orphans are Violet Baudelaire, (a young girl with a knack for inventions) Klaus Baudelaire, (a young boy with a interest in reading, and recalling what he wrote at a moments notice) and Sunny Baudelaire. (A baby with a love for biting things, a unique way of speaking that will require translation, and later in the series a interest in cooking, and yes I guess people under five can cook) But like whenever I seem to find things made for kids, it’s actually not great for children in a sense. It plays on a very dark and gloomy undertone, has very adult themes and morals that come into play, and every character that dies, does so in a terrible and bloody accident, or is murdered. But the story goes like this. The orphans find themselves living with Count Olaf in the bad beginning, he’s a very cruel man, and is pretty much evil. So after book one, they move from guardian to guardian until book eight. In the first seven books each story is very different although very much the same. The only other thing I can compare at being completely different and exactly the same every time is the Pokemon games. But the books aren’t bad, they actually do have a pace, and they have this sort of adventure and  shenanigan vibe going from book to book. But by book eight they are let’s just say on their own, and there is a story complete with secret organizations, a large roster of characters, and lots to do. I actually felt a sense of panic while reading because so many mysteries were being piled on one another, I didn’t think it left room in the last few books to tell them all. And the books actually get better as they hit their stride near the last few books. The first few I wouldn’t say I loved, it actually kind of felt like a T.V. show with the repetition and similarities, but by the end it was like the end of T.V. show where you did have a complete story, you did have big twists, and something to talk about. And don’t try to guess what’ll happen, you won’t be right. The story and mystery and writing are actually the leading factors, and Lemony Snicket as a piece of the books themselves is great. And you do feel like there is a much more grand story going on. And Lemony Snicket doesn’t beat around the bush, he tells you some things just straight up at some points. And the morals aren’t be good all the time, respect your elders, blah blah blah. It’s more like "Well even if everyone else seems to be turning evil around you try your best, and say your good enough,” or, "Well even if all the adults in your life seem like total fucking idiots, try your best to be polite and hold your tongue, except those moments you need to say something.” One area I would say it’s lacking is the character. I love stories where I can fan boy out over the characters, but this isn’t one of those times. The characters are tools for the story, and separate themselves more by action, than by attitude. They do their part, but you won’t fan boy or fan girl out by how awesome they are, but that’s not that point. The adults all act really ridiculous, and really stupid. They’re just about all dicks, except some nice people who are still flawed. And the villains are villains, and are villains because they want money, are just blain and other inserted generic reasons for why the villains are villains. Olaf has a team, and hardly any are even important. Some are food fodder to die, one or two are used, and the others are just kind of there. They didn’t have emotion, no reason for being bad other than being bad, and then left. But probably the best part is Snicket. At some point you do think your seeing something a little genius in what is being wrote. And his strange style and words and narration will make you laugh, pull you in, and give you those little, "Um, what?” moments. It’s by far the hardest part to forget, and without it, this series would probably be maybe less than half it would without the narration. I don’t like everything, like some arcs or sections seemed to not really ever lead anywhere like something called the "sugar bowl,” and this little part where it played with the orphans becoming bad, but never really puts them in the situation where it seemed they had a big choice. Also the pick up to become glued in is far from the first book, and that’s bad when reading thirteen books, and are like me and it took like a year to get all the fuckers. Not to mention many things are left in the dark in the end, and you don’t really get an answer which is kind of good, but come on, you could give us a little more on something for Christ’s sake. In the end it has some problems, but still feels like a whole story, and the last book ties a pretty little ribbon on it that happens to have a troll face on it. And so essentially your getting something really nice, but is presented in a package that’s trolling you. With all due respect from Lemony Snicket of course.