Tuesday, 2024-05-07, 1:32 PM
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"Creativity"

Cabin In The Woods Review

Starring: Kristen Connolly, Chris Hemsworth, Anna Hutchison

Director: Drew Goddard

Year: 2012

I think this is going to be one of few reviews where the spoiler section is a lot longer than the actual review. I literally could go on for an hour just talking about the most specific scenes. But just know a couple things if your going in this. First, act like it's just a typical horror movie. I mean it has a basic setting, a bunch of high school teens going into the woods for a weekend, right? Just imagine it as another simple horror flick, and you'll get a bad ass experience. I've watched the movie twice now. I realized the second time it wasn't the kind of movie you watch again and again, but the first time I watched it, it fucking blew my mind. I lost count of how many times I had my jaw dropped. I watched it with a couple friends, and I bet each thought it was equally as bad ass. I really don't know another way to describe it, because bad ass trumps all other ways to describe it. I wouldn't call it scary, because I laughed my ass off a little to much for me to call it that. Seriously, the first time I saw this I was so ready to call it a 10/10 movie, and slap the Hall of Fame seal on it. The second time was still very enjoyable, but those ten out ten movies are usually ones I fell i can watch over and over. But don't get me wrong, this movie is fucking awesome. This has every tool to make a good movie, and slams them all together. Violence? Check! Mystery, check! Awesome enemies, check! A awesome stoner guy with a bong that turns into a coffee cup? CHECK! Cabin In the woods will surprise the hell out of you, and does everything it can to do better than a horror movie. It's not making fun of the movies, but simply knows we've seen them over and over again, and improves on them tenfold. Just watch the movie, and remember to be open-minded, because if you aren't it probably will just come across as strange. But if you don't write it off as weird, then it will become bad ass! Just give this movie a chance!

Cabin In the Woods gets a 5/5

Spoiler Info: Stop! Just stop! Don't ruin Cabin in the woods for yourself, don't ruin it! KEEP SCROLLING!

Spoilers: Okay... where the hell do I start? How did this movie go from the simple college kids in danger movie we've seen a hundred times over to evil gods taking over the world? The fucking writers, that's how! I'm forgetting his name Joss was it? He and his partner are geniuses! It's like the million hours of film of the same story were simple made to lead to this. First off, even if this was the movie we've seen so many times, it still would have been good. Why? Because the writing and characters are way better! Even before they were all killed off, i thought they were awesome. That stoner dude, and the old guy from stepbrothers are enough to win the character badge by themselves, let alone with all the characters that count as monsters. Speaking of the monsters! Just how many awesome monsters were there? A unicorn stabbing a man, hell yes! A merman! A DAMN MERMAN! The monsters made the movie that more bad ass! I liked how most of them weren't even made by computers, as that would have been an easy cop out. But back to the characters. When i first watched it, the characters deaths confused me. The slutty girl died first, but that's the usual. Then the stoner died, which was sad because it was my favorite character, and I couldn't understand why'd they make such an awesome dude to kill him off so soon. Then I was left with Thor, the nice chick, and the nice guy. This isn't how it usually goes, and I was wondering how it would go from there. Then Thor died at the biggest jaw dropper ever, and we were left with the nice couple. Then the fucking dude gets stabbed through the neck, and the chick is drowning! WTF! And the movie was only playing like, half way through! The idea of the monsters and the evil gods was a great idea, and I'm happy a horror movie is being creative. But then again, I would barely count this as a horror movie. I laughed my ass of in parts, and it was more bloody than scary, so for genre it is in bad ass! I cannot wait to go into a store, and a shelf called "bad ass," is sitting there, waiting for Cabin In the Woods to go on it. And think of what you would be thinking if those monsters were let loose on you... it was an ironic form of, "Well, you made your own hell!" Also, can I just talk about the bong again? Look, I try hard to stay off drugs, I really do, but there is a certain amount of swag that a dude can have with a bong... need I say more? And lots just talk a little about the end! The symbolism with the stone images was pretty great. Not only did it symbolize this movie, but it symbolized the other million horror movies we've seen to often. The one chick in their though, I honestly think she could have been handled differently. If they'd just have her known a little more, a little earlier, than I think it would have been better. Than the final moments, the best moments. The two main characters sat down, took out some bud, then smoked as the world literally crumpled around them. I just can't describe how awesome that is, that they actually had the balls to smoke up in their final moments. Then the hand, rising, and then slamming down into the camera. That part gives goosebumps, and just ends the movie on such a high note.