Disaster Movie Review
Disaster Movie ReviewStarring: Matt Lanter, Vanessa Minnillo, Tony Cox
Director: Jason Friedberg & Aaron Seltzer
Year: 2008
Disaster movie starts with a shit joke, a joke about a movie where the reference wasn’t relevant a year after its release, a crappy joke about a now dead celebrity, then a really long burp joke, then the main character wakes up from a dream, but you’ve only begun the nightmare. Yep, it’s one of those movies. The first time I saw disaster movie I actually didn’t think it was bad, but that was because I was roughly ten. Then I watched it again, and realized it was terrible. And with all the movies I’ve been reviewing, nothing has gone below a five, so I thought I’d just break a little history by reviewing my worst movie yet. That being said Disaster movie has tiny, tiny moments. It’ll make you chuckle, but cringe from the stupidity shortly after. And I don’t care if the second half was pure comedic gold, nothing can redeem the first thirty minutes of this movie. I don’t know why these parody movies continue to only paradise good films, but it’s even worse when the scale between those movies and this is so far. Every film in this movie, even the Love Guru and fucking High School Musical are better than this. And at least movies like Epic movie or the scary movies are mediocre to surprisingly good films, but this is just crap, and probably the worst parody movie I’ve ever seen. It’s not just movies, which is another huge flaw. It’s parodying dozens of celebrities, movies, to just stupid things in general. None of these things make you laugh like they should. It’s not making points that the movies we like are bad under a certain light that is comedical, it’s mostly poor shock value, and alongside painfully bad jokes. If you do laugh it’ll be over something stupid and forgettable. Seeing a random Batman talk about how he spend the whole day on Amazon or Beowulf talking how he’s not gay because he’s business partners with his friend Paul in an antique shop. As far as the acting goes, I can’t really say. It’s like trying to examine a picture while it’s covered in shit. The writing is so bad nobody could do it well, so how could I possibly critique what couldn’t be done right? Yeah, it’s bad, but the script I honestly believe could have been written better by a third grader. And another thing, this movie goes to random. By the second half your used to really immature style, and by then the movie is dead, but at least your used to it. But you could be watching a normal scene, then a character from a movie you may or may not have seen (there’s so many movies, if your not a avid movie devotee, you won’t understand a least a fifth of the dialogue) will pop up, say something stupid, will make you cringe, will then die by shock value, and as it fails the scene will move back. I imagine this movie probably was rushed, or something really bad happened, but seriously, this is inexcusable. With parody movies, they make fun of themselves, the movie, and in the end just take a serious scene and twist it into something to chuckle at. Some characters are meant to be exaggerated versions of the other characters, and some remain somewhat serious. With this, everyone is bat shit crazy, there’s seemingly never ending poop jokes and people dying randomly and violently, and your just reminded of what better movies you could be watching. Not to mention main characters come and go at any moment, like they wanted more shock value deaths and stupidity added into it. If I had to say there was one good moment, it was the princess from enchanted. She actually parodied her character, and although did stupid shit, didn’t annoy me, and made me chuckle at her voice and some lines that probably weren’t even in the script. The most ironic thing is the title, it describes the whole movie. And I hate to use the word "stupid,” in an argument, as it generally makes whoever said it look unintelligent themselves. But this movie is just blain stupid, no other way around it. The only people I could see liking it are kids, (hence the reason I liked it the first watch, but children shouldn’t grow up with shitty movies like this, so don’t let them watch this,) and the unintelligent. Not saying someone out there couldn’t completely turn their brain off, let a bunch of dumb jokes go, and still find the movie kind of okay, but I don’t think anyone can argue when taking the movie seriously that it is bad. Next to Vampires Suck, this is the worst of the worst. Parody movies I feel can be done well, if executed correctly. I could easily sit back and chuckle at some dumb lines from the scary movie series, or even Epic movie. If I reviewed those I’m sure they wouldn’t rank up that bad, but those I feel had actual intelligence behind it, while also giving something for the immature kids who’ll see the movie. This, nothing. Sure, you’ll laugh at some parts, but cringe soon after. Laugh at the stupid stunt double being shown (cause that’s not been done by every other parody movie) just know you’ll probably be sighing in stupidity moments later. This is the logic of the movie. The guy wakes up with Flavor Flav who just banged his wife, he leaves, you find out she’s stingy because apparently they broke up, then she asks him if he wants to take it to the next level. What? That’s not funny, it wasn’t even a joke, it’s just there to be stupid! There I said the word stupid again, but this movie will make an entire audience idiots by just sucking you into this bullshit movie where a bunch of half naked chicks run on screen, one claims she shit herself, then run off screen. Anyway, huge thumbs down for this movie.
Disaster Movie Gets a 1/5
Spoilers: Do I seriously have to have a spoiler section for this movie? I mentioned a lot of examples in the review. But I’ll say the parts I think I might of chuckled were Batman, Beowulf, the phone commercial, and maybe one or two lines from the princess. And usually It’s not hard to make me laugh. And I don’t like talking crap about a film like this. I have to fill up a certain amount of content, and I have more stuff to talk about, so I do. But I want to just quickly forget about this movie, and just leave it quietly on my movie shelf where it should rarely ever be touched. EVER.
Badges
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Disaster Movie gets THE BADGE OF SHIT!
