E.T. (Remix) Review
E.T. (Remix) ReviewAlbum: Teenage Dream
Artist: Katy Perry ft. Kanye West
Year: 2010
Sound: 3/5
Lyrics: 1/5
Instrumental: 2/5
Idea: 3/5
Flow/Energy: 2/5
Music Video: 3/5
Other: 1/5
Welcome to the first non-rap song review! Sort of! Kanye threw a verse on here, but it’s still a pop song. And even though Wiki doesn’t say it’s a remix, I’m saying it is because it isn’t the original and I’m confused. This song was given a couple verses by Kanye because they knew it wouldn’t sell nearly as well, and it sounded even more like shit before, so let’s make that clear. And let’s get the elephant out the room, this song is about alien sex. And they decided to name it after the most God ugly alien out there. But it goes more literal by saying extra terrestrial, even though it also says in the chorus the alien dude Katy Perry is having sex with is supernatural, which isn’t exactly alien. Anyway, synopsis out of the way, let’s get started. First, let’s talk about Kanye. I’ve never gotten into Kanye before on the site, but so far I’m kind of neutral. He’s a dick in real life, but then again I cut who the artist actually is in real life, and only care about the artist as a product, so that doesn’t matter to me. And from what I’ve heard, Kanye is kind of a mixed bag, but definitely has some good songs, and some horrible. And since Katy Perry had some weird desire to make big name Hip-Hop artists looks like shit on her new album (I’m sorry Snoop, you deserve better) she snatched Kanye too. And Kanye gives little fucks about his lyrics in this song. He starts a radio subtle pop song with how he’s going to bathe his ape in your milky way… yeah. And he curses, but nobody probably noticed, it’s so autotuned and filtered with to be on the radio for fourteen year olds, what he says isn’t really important. He does manage before the chorus already hits to reference the song Danger Zone, make the comparison of his big headed ego to an astronaut, and ending it with how he gets ass a lot. It’s actually pretty funny at this point. When Kanye comes back, he starts some of the most lazy basic rhymes he can to fit the song. Bar out in mars, where they drive spaceships instead of cars, it kind of shows how little effort he’s giving. And then he says "pockets on Shrek.” Pockets on Shrek… which from Rap Genius means he has big pockets full of money, even though Kanye wears skinny jeans a lot. Well you look like a total douche when you reference SHREK in an alien song, and still brag about your money. Then he says, "Tell me what’s next? Alien sex.” Well congrats Kanye, you’ve figured out what the song is about. And where the song is suppose to subtle, you might as well be yelling in the back of the chorus, "FUCK YES! I’M HAVING SEX WITH ALIENS!!! ALIENS!!!!!! And if he hasn’t made it weird enough, he says he’s gonna disrobe you, then he’s gonna probe you… alien rape fantasy, nice song. I’m creped out, grossed out, and a little ashamed of Kanye. As for Katy, she does her job on the bridge and chorus. She gives vague lines of a mysterious alien guy that’s a little sensual, but not exactly sexual. She has lines like "Futuristic lover,” "K-k-k-k-kiss me,” and "T-t-t-t-take me,” and those are pretty out there, but since not many people would be paying attention, at this point a lot of people wouldn’t know it’s an alien sex song. But again, Kanye might as well be yelling in the background, "ALIEN SEX, BITCHES!” It’s autotuned a lot, but fuck, voice talent to me nowadays might not even exist, as they’re making them sound good enough anyway. I mean she could sound amazing, I just can't tell. I will say I liked the bridge, it sounded better than the rest of the song, but I’m usually a sucker for bridges, so that’s expected. As for the beat, it wasn’t all that great. It’s so in your face and smacking you around, whereas it should be more whimsical and mysterious, not something we will beat you up. As for the music video, I like most of it. I mean, they went epic, and epic sometimes doesn’t work with a song that isn’t well, epic. I mean Katy is just trying to survive in her gigantic outfits that are flying all over, Kanye is just being the creepy black guy in the background, and then there is the ending. Yeah, the alien was a really gross ass albino guy that really needed to put some clothes on, and Katy has deer legs. Meanwhile there are flashes of like monkey’s having sex and shit in the background, it was a little weird. But it sort of helped the song, so I can’t blame it. I mean it had some strong images, and when Katy wasn’t flying around or having weird legs, she looked awesome. She had really artistic makeup and a cool design, I’d prefer that to be the revealed alien version of her over deer legs. And seriously, that gross albino dude was suppose to be the sexy alien? That thing is disgusting! I was expecting some epic alien asexual thing, not some gross dude who was butt naked. Ugh, anyway, the song was a miss to me. It should have been a strong alien theme song that not many other songs on the radio, or on her album are like, and Katy touching something more unusual, not forcing Kanye to show up only for a paycheck. Kanye shouldn’t be in the song, and Katy’s lyrics need a revamp, with a new beat, and a better video. Ugh. That’s what this song is a big UGH.
E.T. gets a 2/5
